By Winthrop Fenwick
From The Citizen's Forum of Skara Brae
posted 307.3 S.Y. *3/25/01 9:14:55 PM*

“You are a terrible disappointment, Winthrop”, said Uncle Edward.

*Winthrop couldn’t argue with that, after all, he had managed to loose a battle to Adraii. That wicked drow had used the Fenwick family’s own magic to permanently banish him to the underworld. The last living heir of the Yew Fenwicks had died and the tragedy was nothing more than another dark turn in the family’s luck. All in all Fenwick fortunes had taken a turn for the worse and had never looked back. This turn occurred shortly after Winthrop was born and hadn’t ended, even in his death.*

*All of the dead Fenwicks argued together in the afterlife. It was an eternal petty brawl where wrongs done in the previous life managed to live on…and on… and on. It would be hell for most folks, but it was a type of heaven for the Fenwicks. Nothing ever seem to make them happy and death did absolutely nothing to quell their nitpicking ways. Most of Winthrop’s relatives lived in this dead state wanting nothing more, that is, until Winthrop joined them in death.*

*Evidently Winthrop whined even MORE than his relatives. The level of self pity, complaining, and snippiness had reached lows that his relatives found astonishing. The man was a master of the craft and it soon became evident that he was going to be the undoing of them all. Here is how bad it got: As a spirit Winthrop had no need to eat or sleep… he didn’t even need to breath. He managed to construct a complaint composed of a single sentence that lasted 52 hours, 13 minutes, and 32 seconds.*

*Shortly thereafter the family began to actively research the spell that the drow had used for forever banish Winthrop. You wouldn’t find a more dedicated crew, they were struggling for their very existences. They researched every nuance and component looking for any weaknesses or mistakes the drow had made…. and when they found an error they exploited it and sent Winthrop Fenwick back to the land of the living. Uncle Edward offered a special prayer to the gods at that moment. He prayed to the gods that Winthrop Fenwick would have a long and happy life.*

*And so Winthrop Fenwick re-entered the world and the dead were once again allowed to rest in peace. It would not be so for the living.*